Thursday, May 29, 2014

The Full Range of Music

It's impossible to appreciate the full range of music if one has a tin ear or is tone deaf in a frequency or two.

In other places I said that Libras tend to go through life with blinders on. I meant that in terms of the collective senses and not just the eyes. I also said that Isaac was a Libra and he was the tone setter for the sidereal age of Aries, approx. 2100 BCE – to sometime during the life of Jesus. And I pointed out that the book of kabballah called The Zohar says that Isaac was a harsh judge. Traditionally, the image for this house is of the statue of justice with scales or balances in one hand, but this is also the mind of the 8 to 9-year-old and the psyche is childish. Maybe the quote from Jack Nicholson is somewhat appropriate here: "You can't handle the truth" (at least not in totality).

What you become depends upon your focus. The proverb, "As a man so thinketh so is he" comes into play. I would say also that the better the mind is organized, reflecting the world as it truly is, the higher the intelligence. And high degrees of performance do not necessarily indicate intelligence; if they did we would all strive to become idiot savants. Carrying this out further, one thing all of us need to keep in mind is that you become and how you operate in your day to day determinations and judgments depends upon your focus, and at base root this first step of your innermost focus is akin to your own cornerstone; think of it as a first step in a long line of theoretical logic and realize that if any step of logic is incorrect in a string, everything after that becomes more wrong.

The spirit of Isaac produced the thinking process that resulted in the Jewish Torah. The system of sacred law was a work in progress (largely) up until the completion of the Babylonian Talmud, sometime after Mohammed came on the scene. Today there are still refinements but as a general rule they are minor adjustments.

Obviously a judge thinks enough of himself to believe that he can make judgments concerning people and situations. Childish or not, this attitude is a very necessary component in the make-up of human civilization. But this way can cause one with a set of deficient background data to think that he knows, when, in fact, he doesn't. And it is also problematic in that, if his base focus excludes related information the outcome of judgment can be skewed. Plus, we need to add: by the very nature of Law there can be no one pure. If a policeman were to observe you and I in our daily routines (without us knowing he was there) he would find a few misdemeanors and perhaps a felony or two every week. Rabbis will openly tell you that for a person to follow the Torah is impossible.


After the period of the Libra leadership Jesus the Capricorn came along. Every sidereal age comes in a beginning tailored to alleviate a problem that grew up toward the end of the last one. He brought a cure of sorts that added something while allowing for, still, a religious primacy to be afforded for the category of Sacred Torah. The problem of Torah carried out is that being under the law could mean being ever at fault. And, as the following gnostic passage indirectly relates, when you get in a category the definition will come as it excludes aspects of the wider truth and reality. Also, the defining spirit of the box will force you to accept the bad with the good; it'll restrict and limit your freedom and the choices that you may decide to make. (Which is basically okay for the childish mind; they want others to take the responsibilities while they may complain and gripe like little children.) The reactions to any constrictive philosophy are endemic in nature: what goes up must come down; for every positive there is a negative.

From The Testimony of Truth: "As for the Pharisees and the scribes, it is they who belong to the Archons who have authority [over them].

"For no one who is under the law will be able to look up to the truth for they will not be able to serve two masters. For the defilement of the law is manifest; but undefilement belongs to the light."

As I said in my book, most of the physical maladies mentioned in the new testament were probably psychosomatic, brought about by the people living in an atmosphere of harsh judgment, of others and themselves: if you "believed" you were guilty you may exact punishments upon yourself, but when Jesus presented the doctrine of the forgiveness of sin, if you "believed" you were forgiven then there was no need to punish yourself.

I find the basis to be amazingly wrong; this whole mess of the leadership of the white archon (of fear) beginning with Aries at about 4,200 BCE and ending with Capricorn at the beginning of the month of Aquarius can be summed up with the phrase, "If you ask the wrong questions it becomes nigh on impossible to get the right answers." Small minded and childish systems of naming, pigeonholing and labeling are easy to adhere to for the immature mind but they do a terrible disservice: while they had power to exert themselves during the periods of their rule and could force the rest of us to believe it or else, there was no place for amorphous change. With Jesus this is true also: its either (barn) this, or it is (barn) that, defined, fixated, unchangeable and set in stone with no compromise (I'll beat you up first).

Now take a look at the swirling atom, or our own solar system; the galaxies are ever in motion as is the blood in your own veins. THERE IS NOTHING IN THE UNIVERSE THAT IS PERMANENT!

The reality of your life is like this: you may be a fireman, for example, but you aren't that – even in the years of your active employment – all the time. In fact, the majority of your time is spent in other activities than what your work requires. Rather than the small-minded box definition of what you are, there are many other descriptive terms that could be applied to you as well and they would be just as valid. And as far as the law goes, the mature mind KNOWS what is right and what is wrong. It is only the unlettered and less intelligent, or those that hold themselves back to an easier (professionally dumb and stupid) level to deal with in life. The normal rest of us should not have to suffer for the three or four kids in class that are of lesser abilities.

I have to think that there is a deeper level of this: behind it is a fear of having to learn because learning requires a period of adjustment in order to incorporate the new data; it hurts to find out that you are wrong (and admit it) and then comes the discomfort of changing yourself to make yourself more correct. But the standard, believing monotheist doesn't have to do this: he is right no matter what.

The answer that Jesus provided was wrong too but it went down a different path of wrong. It involved Capricorn trips to fantasy land using belief as an escape from a tortuous existence. (We're looking at a result of torture-programming and the Stockholm syndrome here.) His was a fractured personality, even in the face of the true God of oneness. Statements involved with not letting one hand know what the other is doing are indicative of darkness, not light. "In my father's house are many mansions" is another showing divisionism, and if that's not enough how about, "I bring a sword of division?" At the least this is a multi-faceted being but with that comes many separated parts. At the least this is Dissociated identity disorder and at the worst we are looking at Schizophrenia. I take it that it was the latter, but controlled enough to become a figurehead for a religion that extolled mental illness, much as tribal man usually views the crazy man as having a spirit from God. Actually there is another category, that of a schizophrenegenic, that probably fits, in that these are the rare kinds of people who can actually cause others to hallucinate and see things that aren't really there.

So in the face of what I perceive to be wrong, how should we conduct ourselves? This starts with a self-evident declaration: In the overall scheme of things we are as insignificant as an ant. To put on a cloak of arrogance and think that the actual creator of the universe would heed anything about us is pure blasphemy. And in the same mindset is that of the less able among us who latch onto some religion or philosophy and, thereby, think they know all that they need. Your blessings mean very little and your curses mean (perhaps) even less. Your systems of categorization are contrived lies made up so as to make a (true and real) very complicated universe conform to your notions of how it all should be so as to serve you and your childish mind. But a good place to start is with each other: be ready to extend to each other the freedom-to-be in all dealings that you are able. We all need to take each other as we appear to be, moment to moment, at face value without stuffing the other guy in some block definition. And give room for improvement; there is none of us that are the same as when we made our last mistake.

In conversations with believers I find that they will always try to drag us into how they define things. In the Navy once I said to a Libra, Christian sailor that carbon dating shows the bible to full of beans (I had not learned the alternate explanations related to the infant in the womb at that time) but he countered with, "Okay, so that's what you believe." I didn't get the tactic at first. It took me years to figure out that in this case "belief" is not the right word. It is a misrepresentation because radiocarbon dating can be checked, tested, proved, compared and verified – but you can't do any of that with some guy walking on water. About five years ago I tried this explanation on another Christian, Libra man. He made a face of displeasure as he held his hands out, palms down, in a symbolic act of trying to push the distasteful information down. From this I came away thinking that (once again) truth and reality do not matter to the monotheistic believer. Everything is a continuous stream of tactics designed for them to not to have any reason to learn anything else. Everything is a game, they live within a lie so as to make it seem that they win and you lose. The know-everything arrogance is a ploy they use so as to be parasites sucking off of you; you get stuck in a position of having to prove yourself right (while they don't have to prove anything) and when you do they may adopt what you have it but only after handing out much grief and insulting arguments; the game is that it is they who stand in superiority, behaving as the establishment Morlocks do: hanging back in their caves, sucking in real people and then devouring all they have while (usually) misunderstanding and getting all they gain wrong. Real and normal people have nothing to gain in this lopsided, unfair game. It is you who will take the responsibility of change upon your shoulders; in that way the lower grades of humanity can rise without having to actually learn (and take on the pain and discomfort of change).

The most important point of my overall presentation has to do with the resurrection of temple observances conducted at sacred sites. The spiritual matrix of mankind has many tactics that it can use to prevent change. If what I have to offer does become more widespread there is no doubt that any and all of their tools will be used against it. As an example, they will bribe and (or) blackmail their whoreagents that will do or say anything they are ordered to do or say, e.g., Paul of Tarsus. Then, down the line, if they can't out-and-out destroy it they will co-opt it and (or) corrupt it in any way they can. (I do fervently hope that temple observances that I recommend will allow for a milder, more understanding mindset between people. To come to the ancient understanding of Osiris means a wedding of science and religion. It's quite possible that the present-day human is unable to do this. But in opposition to this concern, however; it seems that I am surrounded by people that think they are, at least, like (and equal to) me, if not superior, while I must be a moron. In terms of Apocalypse (no, I still haven't given up hope for this; maybe I should) I certainly hope to organize a true weeding of the garden so all of this ilk will have the opportunity to prove their higher abilities (of course Samson knew he was going to die too; it's just that, out of his hatred and anger, he didn't give a damn). We've all heard the expression, "You can't get there from here;" perhaps by the use of the temple rites we will find an intermediate path that will allow us to actually "get there." Maybe the future will find people beyond permanent boxes of uncompromising branding. But in the meantime the normal is surrounded by parasites.

We all need to learn this: l am all those things you have called me, and I am none of those things you have called me.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Facing Up to the Establishment

In the course of the last three sidereal months there have been many who honestly sought to better the emotional and sociological systems of man. As I have noted in my studies, the changes resulting from reformers efforts have been minimal and from the view of the common man, far too expensive for any of that level to attempt. I believe that one of the unspoken messages of Christianity is that to implement any real sociological change requires that the crusader be crucified; only after his death will the inheritors consider and (possibly) implement any of his suggestions.

When my father's ancestors went to church in the early colonies they sat in divided areas. In today's terms we may think of them as cubicles with shortened walls. True, not all congregations were seated in this way. But how much of a percentage were in pews is impossible to say. Really though, I am not seeking to discuss the social structure of the pilgrims and puritans so much as I wish to delve into the concept of revolution. However, the subject of the first settlers to North America is a good place to start since they were, by their very nature, revolutionaries.

What happened? Much like children in opposition to their parents, they created something at least as restrictive as what they left, and to emphasize, I wish to point out that those church cubicles I mentioned were symbolic of cattle pens, holding areas where the beasts can be kept until they are slaughtered. (In our lives are we not all marking time in preparation for our own ends?) But something happened to my father's paternal line in the late 1800s. Apparently my grandparents did not agree with the established religious systems. My grandmother had a large family Bible but the family did not attend church. Along with many of the signees of the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution they were termed Deists.

Fast-forward to my generation of "Baby Boomers" that came into being after WW II; as a member of that grouping, my experience with all forms of salesmanship as propounded by the divisions of the establishment was that of being overwhelmed by far too many voices pounding my psyche with an overabundance of choices. It was that all the voices of leadership wanted me to buy into what they were selling, either economically or by getting me to at least believe in their message. The textbooks at school did that – along with teachers – and so did the various sects of Christianity, my elders, and parents. The music I listened to wanted me to buy records; my own peers sought to have me take their side in disagreements; television assaulted me with commercial advertisements; the news gave viewpoints that I was supposed to accept; and of course, the politicians continually strove to get all the people they could garner into their camp. (How unfair of it all: to attack ignorant little kids, those innocents naïve and pliable; are we not looking at a form of child molestation?) Of course at the time I did not know that all issues, pro or con, only received publicity if they had handlers behind the scenes directing the moves of the spokesmen. (Yes, I know that I started by referring to religion and shifted gears to Vox Populi, but if the reader will fairly consider, he may see that there is a mass human perception that can unite both areas.)

It is true that America has politically changed. Some of it was for the good and much was not. Direct voting for U.S. Senators was something the founders were against because with the decisions being made by the state houses the process was difficult to corrupt. (Now it is far too easy.) I have never been able to find anyone who was against the Statue of Liberty being sent here from France (with the secret society Prieuré de Sion behind the curtain). Maybe they didn't get it, that it was a Trojan Horse and with figurative immigrant warriors inside it would eventually bring down this country. And does no one else see that, if such a thing as the Pledge of Allegiance is mandated it reaches out to restrict the citizens' freedom a little more? Finally, "In God We Trust" is blasphemous – if Jesus's action of driving out the money changers from the temple precinct is to be believed – because it is stamped on American coins and written on paper dollars; it is the act of mixing God and mammon.

In the sixties and to a lesser extent the seventies change, evolution, and revolution were espoused by many popular music groups. They were ALL lying. And this can be written in stone as a tenet of how the old matrix of man used to work: when you repeat a lie often enough you will believe it yourself. I doubt if any of those musicians would admit that they worked in the field so as to make money. No, of course not; they (each) had a cause (so they said). And it becomes near to impossible for a thirteen- to twenty-year-old kid to see that they were lying because the disseminators of the lies did believe in what they said and did so fervently. "We can change the world," sang Crosby, Stills & Nash, but all that really changed was their perceptions of the world, courtesy of all the drugs they ingested.

We, the target of all this, were suffocating, buried under mounds and mounds of bulishit that was dumped on us from all quarters. Most people don't see that Jerry Rubin and Abbie Hoffman were provocateurs, hired and directed by FBI agents (such as Agent Hosty, the handler of Lee Harvey Oswald). The average guy can't see the game of using people such as Al Sharpton and Louis Farrakhan. The Tsar's secret police used the same tricks. In 1905 Joseph Stalin's gang blew up the oil fields in southern Russia because he was ordered to by the big money powers of the Earth, such as J. D. Rockefeller. Communism and Nazism would have never come into being without the help of the shadow government. All of these so-called Anarchists with masks are whores in the employ of the inner powers. Their job is to turn peaceful demonstrations into violent affairs. Saul or Paul of Tarsus served the high priest at Jerusalem in the same way. In my book I point out that Billy Graham was elevated to a high station in the public eye by being promoted by William Randolph Hearst. People may laugh when they see pages of old catalogs, but their laughter blinds them to the fact that all sorts of figurative elixirs and snake-oil remedies are still being sold today. A portion of callers to talk show programs are shills, paid actors coached and well rehearsed, and the rest of the callers are strictly screened.

At bedrock, here's the deal: the reason why people will allow lies to continue is because they are often nice in their makeup, safer than truth, can be far more entertaining, and can fulfill the nature of wishful thinking that the majority may want to believe (even though there's no proof). "If Walter Cronkite said it, then it must be true."

No one wants to be the bad guy who will tell kids between five and ten that the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and the Tooth Fairy are all lies, even though this is the time of life when the lying program begins. Adults are reluctant, perhaps afraid that they'll turn the children into cynics. It is a terrible situation here in that almost nothing can be believed at face value; there are always alternate explanations, each a slight danger to the political or religious establishment.

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Some Geometry and Vibes

Of the twelve ruins of temples, hundreds of kilometers apart between Greece and Turkey, there are four directions and four colors associated; three temples point to the east and the yellow races, three lead to the north and the white races, three direct to the west and the red races, and the last three connect to the black peoples of the south. To complicate matters, there is a brown offshoot that connects to the tenth sphere of Virgo. This giant Maltese cross says virtually the same thing as the ancient swastika as it points to the four cardinal points. Also, if you look at the four equidistant pyramids at Cydonia (located at what has been called "Downtown" on Mars), you may imagine that there are four entryways that all point to the four directions. In this system the constructions or archons are the three-, four-, five- (called pyramids) and the six-sided patterns, mostly found on the Earth and Mars. Mathematically they are connected to the nucleotides in cell structure, with the fifth (or brown) being of the sometimes used uracil.

Arthur C. Clarke's 2001: A Space Odyssey presented the theory of aliens influencing man's evolution with vibes coming from giant monoliths, all shaped like dominoes. I believe that the concept is true but according to what I have come in contact with, the system is far more complicated than the author envisaged.

The two-part headdress of Pharaoh was white and red. Jacob pulled a trick using powers over his father-in-law Laban (levan in Hebrew means white) so as to increase his flocks. When he met up with Esau, he was deathly afraid (the blood ran from his face, making it ashen white) for his brother had reason to kill him for stealing his birthright. This is what exerted mystical power over his offspring, compelling them to go to Egypt. When Esau was born he was ruddy. Red all over is what this means.

The colors of the horses of the apocalypse are white, red, black, and then the pale (which I see as the ashes of aftermath). In the normal progression yellow should be the first but it is left out and, instead, we may interpret a going over of the cliff to reach the pale horse. The horse is one of the astrological totems of the Libra. Their internal age is nine years old, connected to the words of John Lennon, "Number nine, number nine, number nine." When the sequence starts we may very well look for a nine-year period for each horse (either that or a four-and-a-half year term for each one if each color only represents a half of a horse).

In Leviticus there is a negative color progression of the skin ailments spoken of: first comes white, then if it gets worse red is the next color, and then the black is listed as the worst. The Roman historian, Tacitus, said  it was his understanding that when the Hebrews came out of Egypt they were plagued by skin ailments, and from the focus upon a cure for such in the Bible I suspect this to be true. (It's interesting to note that at Moshav Chatseva, halfway between the south end of the Dead Sea and the Gulf of Eilat, the volunteer – but not the members or their children – were plagued by sores on their feet.) After I moved to work in Eilat mine cleared up after two or three weeks, but some of the foreign workers were far more affected than I was, and the sores on my feet were bad enough. . . a flesh-eating bacterium is the suspect.

In terms of emotional influence I see the yellow as reticence (or cowardliness), white as fear, the red as anger, the black as hatred. The twelve spheres follow the normal progression of a human life from
infant in the womb to the last period on a deathbed. The progression is yellow – Aquarius, Gemini, and Leo; white – Aries, Libra, and Capricorn; red – Cancer, Taurus, and Sagittarius; black – Virgo, Pisces, and Scorpio. The astrological view is one of Ezekiel's wheels, but there is a difference between the leadership spheres in mankind and the effect of the constellations in the heavens. Above, we are coming out of Pisces but the leader was Jesus the Capricorn. Now were going to the Aquarius constellation but the leader will be Cancer/John-the-Baptist at sphere seven following Capricorn/Jesus at sphere six. The progression of the astrological spheres of leadership follow that of the milestones (or ages) of normal attributes of a human life while the constellations in the sky form a backdrop or stage from which the leadership manifests itself. And the influences in the sidereal progression are opposite to the monthly attributes of the twelve houses of astrology here on Earth. Here, from coming out of Pisces (primarily in March) we should be going into Aries (mostly in April), but this wheel of Ezekiel is opposite, as if the one in the sky is huge and the one for the astrological months here is much smaller and geared in an opposite manner.

Plato said that the dominant colors of Atlantis were white, red, and black. The flag of Nazi Germany was white, red, and black. Some mystics say that one of Hitler's goals was the resurrection of Atlantis.

Friday, May 9, 2014

Belief, Learning, and the Trap of Evil

"An average person uses 5% of his brain in his lifetime" —Albert Einstein. "Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth" —Jesus. (I have stated those two sentences as near to each other because they both have a built-in convenience: how nice and accommodating for the proponent that neither one can be proven.) Then, in terms of how the leadership of the earth beats us over the head with their vested interests we have the statement, "It doesn't matter what you say; it's how often you say it" —Abbie Hoffman. And in terms of the totalitarian mind, "The bigger the lie, the more they'll believe it" —Adolf Hitler. And continuing in this vein, the average German soldier captured at the end of World War II would tell his captors that Poland attacked them and (thus) began the war. Jesus said that "All things are possible to him that believeth," but from Einstein we have "Blind belief in authority is the enemy of truth," and it has been my observation in life that reality and truth are God, and if you aren't very careful about where you tender your belief you will be nothing more than a tool to the establishment, a sheep in the program of shepherds and sheep begun by the first secret societies of Akkad and Sumer. And lest we think that this is somehow in the past or the problem belongs somewhere else, I am not content to leave this off without saying that the average American voter still thinks that they do have some say-so in the election process; and some still think that there are men buried in the concrete of Hoover Dam.

I went for a coffee yesterday, told the woman behind the counter I wanted two cream and two sweeteners in it and she immediately turned to another and said one cream and two sweeteners. The day before, I bought a newspaper using a twenty and had to give a dollar back to the lad as he had undercharged me by that much. The common people can be viewed from the perspective of Otto, the main character of the film Repo Man, when he said, "Yeah, well I don't read them books." About one billion people believe that some guy walked on water and about another billion think that another guy ascended up through the seven heavens on the back of his horse. "Hey, did you hear the one about the lady who put her miniature poodle in her microwave?" Vincent Bugliosi wrote a large book that, for the most part, agrees with whatever the Warren Commission said. He is not alone: I know of a teacher with a master's degree who thinks that Oswald was the man. (Anybody remember Treasure of the Sierra Madre? "Evidence? We don't need no stinkeeng evidence.")

We have been and are in a time when the biblical "Sons of Darkness" rule. Reality is seen as bad, something to flee from: go to a movie, get a bottle, smoke a joint, exercise, have sex (but you'll be BAD if you do). Truth is unattainable for most people: There are many on the Internet and on Television and on Radio who are paid to lie, muddy up, obfuscate and make it impossible to discern with normal human senses what is real here. In the place of a search for truth we are offered an emotional tirade; both sides yelling at each other, reminiscent of the two kids on South Park, "Why don't you go back to San Francisco with all the other Jews?"

"There aren't any Jews in San Francisco!"

There are provocateurs and fake anarchists at demonstrations, paid to get violent so the cops can beat up the peaceful protestors. About 99% of spokespeople and news reporters are told what to say and then they say it. They are non-sexual whores. There are evidences of flying saucer technologies being (at least) explored by the Nazis toward the end of World War II; there are no evidences whatsoever that tie the sightings to other dimensions or worlds. The evidences presented by engineers concerning 9/11 lead us to believe that the buildings were brought down by the use of explosives for a controlled demolition…the news outlets won't go there. The burning of the rain forests continues apace; species of plants and animals go extinct every week, overpopulation of man strips the earth of natural resources: nothing of this is covered in the news anymore. Now add Fukushima: flight crews are starting to feel the effects of the extra radiation; the whole of the Northern Pacific might very well become a giant dead zone, but the average person doesn't have to be concerned, nor does he want to be; he is content to live in ignorance, dumbness, and stupidity.

Some believe that the moon landing was faked. Some believe that the moon landing was genuine. According to NASA the monuments of Cydonia are mere tricks of light and shadow. But some people see the mathematical connections and understand them as real, being manufactured by an ancient race. However, the point of all this litany I am engaged in is to point out that in an age of darkness, in a time when darkness reigns supreme its proponents and servants win when an atmosphere of discord and aggression in controversial stances is the norm (without any ending achievable). When the storm is done, when the yelling stops and people forget what the fuss was about, the vile, most-evil scum at the top will INVENT new issues to argue about. The heart of divisionism beats here. And it is a paradox, a conundrum that has people in a state of confusion: "A house divided against itself cannot stand." Now step outside the box, and think: Christianity has scores of sects that disagree vehemently as opposed to each other and yet the whole mess has been standing for many, many centuries. It is also in the nature of paradox that, when we all stop believing the myth of the end of the world as written in the Bible, when we stop believing the boy who cries wolf then it is quite possible that the wolf will come.

There's a trash picker in town, a dumpster diver who is sure that he knows everything that is worth knowing. Taking his place alongside the arrogant radio preachers, Earl has it all figured out: as long as a front of anger, aggression and the irrationality of the "True Believer" is maintained, the truly dumb and stupid can find a wonderful world of Disney's Fantasy Land to live in.

To maintain the power of darkness, high levels of fear must be maintained. This is where many of the dire warnings (projected lies, really) of the Bible come into play. The fear/rumor mill helps: in boot camp we were scared of that square-needle-in-the-left-nut shot that we'd been warned about, and of the saltpeter that was sure to make our penises all flaccid for life.

Learning requires mistakes. In a universe where there is as much positive as negative there is no way to learn without sin. For the most part it is best to learn from other people's mistakes but, sorry to say, that cannot be done for everything. The way in which monotheism (not just Christianity) seeks to move people to the dumbness and stupidity of darkness is to remind them of all their missteps and require of them a lifetime of wallowing in repentance with no end in sight. Learning becomes too dangerous so it's best if you just stay away from it, unless it is authorized by an establishment that uses it as a tool.

Not everything in The Scriptures is a lie: the animals of Ezekiel's wheels go out and then they return. To learn you must step outside of yourself, return with the new that you have garnered, and then you must internalize it, incorporate and digest (that is, if you want to transcend the lying, emotionalism, and darkness).